Grief Is Part of Growth

Vijendra Singh via Unsplash

We simply can’t move forward without honoring what’s ending.

We love the idea of moving forward: New chapter. Fresh start. Next level.

Especially in leadership or personal growth, we’re trained to keep our eyes ahead — focused on goals, solutions, outcomes.

But here’s the part we often skip:

You can’t really move ahead until you’ve grieved what you’re leaving behind.

And yes — even when the thing you’re leaving no longer fits. Even when you’ve outgrown it. Even when the future looks brighter. Grief doesn’t wait for logic. It shows up when something meaningful ends.

This might be:

• A job that once defined you, even if it became unsustainable.

• A version of success you chased for years — and no longer want.

• A role or identity that gave you comfort, but kept you small.

• A relationship or season of life that shaped you — and is now gone.

Sometimes the grief is obvious. Sometimes it sneaks in sideways: a heaviness in the body, an edge of resentment, a deep fatigue that doesn’t go away with rest.

You might think, “Why am I sad? I chose this. I should be excited.” But that’s the paradox of growth. You can feel grateful and gutted at the same time.

Grief is the emotional cost of change. And avoiding it doesn’t make it go away — it just delays your integration.

Because when we don’t grieve, we carry the weight with us.

It shows up in our leadership as defensiveness, indecision, or detachment.

It shows up in our relationships as impatience or disconnection.

It shows up in our bodies as tension, burnout, or low-grade anxiety.

What if grief wasn’t something to get through quickly — but something to honor as part of the path?

A few questions to sit with:

• What part of your life, identity, or belief system is quietly ending right now?

• What are you trying to move on from without really naming the loss?

• What did that thing give you, even if it eventually cost you something too?

• What would it look like to grieve with intention — instead of rushing ahead?

You don’t need a ritual or a dramatic goodbye. But you do need honesty. And a little space. Even ten quiet minutes to say, “This mattered. And now it’s over.”

Here’s the shift: Grief is not the opposite of growth. It’s what gives growth its depth.

We become more honest. More human. More capable of holding complexity — in ourselves and others. And the leaders who can grieve well? They don’t get stuck in the past. They just don’t pretend they’ve outgrown it faster than they have. They know that real motion isn’t just forward — it’s through.

Through the truth. Through the loss. Through the slow, necessary untangling from what was.

Only then are we really free to choose what’s next.