For years, I chased purpose like it was a prize. Like if I just looked hard enough, read the right book, had the right insight at the right retreat, I’d find it — this tidy, luminous answer to the big “Why am I here?” question.

But that’s not how it works. At least, not in my experience — and not in the experience of most thoughtful, talented people I know.

Here’s the problem: chasing purpose puts it out there, in the future, in some idealized state. And when you do that, you’re almost guaranteed to miss the version that’s already here, already whispering to you in small moments.

I’ve watched so many brilliant leaders spin their wheels trying to figure it out. They map, model, journal, vision board. And often they just get more tangled — stuck in their heads, weighed down by the pressure to land the “right” answer.

Here’s the shift: Purpose isn’t something you find. It’s something you follow.

It doesn’t show up fully formed. It reveals itself as you live. As you say yes to what lights you up and no to what drains you. As you try things, mess up, and learn what actually matters to you — not just what looks good on paper or sounds noble at dinner parties.

I once spent several years convincing myself that developing business strategies that drive innovative companies was my purpose. Until I actually got in the room and realized it felt eerily similar to the job I’d left behind — grueling hours, top-down control, and a room full of people quietly miserable. It was a painful wake-up call, but also a gift. It helped me realize that purpose isn’t an idea to pursue. It’s an experience to pay attention to.

When I started saying yes only to what genuinely energized me — projects, conversations, causes — I stopped searching and started living. And little by little, purpose stopped being a concept and became a compass. Not a map, not a master plan. A compass. Something that pointed the way, one moment at a time.

That’s the key. Purpose lives in the moment.

It’s not a title or a five-year plan or a thing you can explain neatly at a networking event. It’s a quiet pull. A nudge to speak, to listen, to show up differently. And when you learn to follow it — really follow it — it leads you to places you couldn’t have imagined.

So if you’re spinning in the search, consider this: What if your purpose isn’t out there waiting to be found? What if it’s already here, waiting for you to notice?

Exercise: Following, Not Finding

Try this simple experiment for one week. It’s designed to help you shift from thinking about purpose to following it.

Step 1: Set a reminder

Set an alarm on your phone three times a day — morning, midday, evening.

Step 2: Ask yourself

When the alarm goes off, pause and ask:

“What would living my purpose look like in this moment?”

Notice what comes up. Don’t overthink it. Maybe it’s speaking up in a meeting. Maybe it’s closing your laptop. Maybe it’s texting a friend or simply taking a breath.

Step 3: Act on it (if you can)

Follow the impulse. Experiment. Let it guide a small decision, a shift in presence, a moment of care.

Step 4: Reflect

At the end of the week, look back. What did you learn? What surprised you? What felt good?

This practice won’t hand you a tidy life purpose statement. But it will help you get closer to what feels real, meaningful, and alive. And that’s the kind of purpose worth building a life around.